“When I was born, the world was a far simpler place. It was all just cops and robbers.”
The opening of Layer Cake is a textbook way to lure people into a film. It’s a Daniel Craig monologue over the top of the song “Hayling”, written by Daniel Ormondroyd, Jon Nowell, Hafdís Huld and Jon Collyer. And we get this:
“When I was born, the world was a far simpler place.
It was all just cops and robbers.
But it wasn’t for me.”
“Then came the Summer of Love.
Hashish and LSD arrived on the scene.
There were villains locked away for 12 years for robbing a bank of 10 grand doing time with drippy hippies doing 12 months for smuggling two million quid’s worth of puff.”
I mean, work it out, mate. We’re in the wrong fucking game.
“Drugs changed everything.
Always remember that one day this drug monkey-business will be legal.
They won’t leave it to people like me when they figure out how much money there is to be made: Not millions, fucking billions.
Recreational Drugs plc.
Giving people what they want.
Good times today, stupor tomorrow.
But this is now.
So, until prohibition ends, make hay while the sun shines.”
“I’m not a gangster. I’m a businessman whose commodity happens to be cocaine.”
“Ten years ago, charlie was for pop stars or a celebrity’s birthday bash.
It was demonized by Daily Mail readers getting drunk in wine bars.
Now they’re my biggest clients.
This is Clarkie. Double first at Cambridge in Industrial Chemistry.”
“Well, he’s gotta pay off his student loan somehow.
Today, I only deal in kilos.
Depending which tariff you use that’ll cost you either 28 grand or 15 years in prison which is more time than a rapist.
C’est la vie.
It is vital that we work to a few golden rules.
Always work in a small team.
Keep a very low profile.
Only deal with people who come recommended.
It’s like selling anything: Washing machines, handmade shoes, blowjobs.
As long as you don’t take the piss, people will come back for more.
That’s not to say we don’t weave that special magic that makes two kilos into three but never be too greedy.
Know and respect your enemy.
It is only very, very stupid people who think the law is stupid.
And avoid like the fucking plague loud, attention-seeking wannabe gangsters in it for the glory, to be a face, to be a name.
They don’t mean to f*ck up.
They just do.
Forgive me for stating the obvious, but stay away from the end-user.
They are guaranteed to bring you trouble.
As do guns.
I hate guns. And violence.
But as some Roman general once said: “If you seek peace, plan for war.”
Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
But don’t take my word for it. Watch it for yourself, for free, right now.